In a recent interview, Leonardo DiCaprio revealed he was a "slow starter" with women. I really hope he doesn't expect me to feel sorry for him.

"He said: "I've always been a slow starter. My first date was with a girl called Cessi. We had a beautiful relationship over the phone all summer and then when we met I couldn't look her in the eye." The 33-year-old star - who recently revealed he is keen to put his playboy lifestyle behind him and settle down - is notoriously secretive about his private life, but claims he has to be in order to ensure he is believable as an actor."

What a touching story. Poor Leonardo. He had to suffer through that embarrassment just so he could live to get balls deep in Helena Christensen, Gisele Bundchen, and Bar Refaeli. I just don't know how he managed to live like that. My penis heard me reading this and he picked up a megaphone and started passing out flyers in protest.

Bar Refaeli:


Gisele Bundchen:


Helena Christensen (NSFW):