This site has sorely been lacking tits lately, so Peta Todd and her perfect 30F's are here to change all that. In case you were wondering, Peta was a hairdresser in Essex before she was discovered by The Sun and became a Page 3 girl at 18. She's posed in FHM and Nuts, and once rode 400 miles on a bicycle for charity. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but at best, it will give you two something to talk about while you masturbate.

You can check out the rest of the gallery HERE (NSFW), but be warned, you might fall in love.

When you're born into fame and privilege, it's easy to become disillusioned with America and how you had to struggle to overcome obstacles such as daddy cutting off your credit card or having to wake up before noon. Gwyneth Paltrow has obviously suffered more than Harriet Tubman, because every time she opens her damn mouth, it's all about how much she hates America and how stupid Americans are. She just gave a recent interview. You'll never guess what she said! New York Daily News reports:

"Spain has become a second home," Paltrow said. "Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C. It's incredible. "Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. "They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their BlackBerries on." Paltrow lived in Spain briefly as a teen and is fluent in Spanish. The 36-year-old star, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, wants her two kids, Apple and Moses, to speak Spanish as well.

Man, it really must suck to live in a country where you're handed everything you've ever accomplished then be allowed to tell everyone who will listen how bad that country sucks. At this point, Paltrow should just drive through Manhattan in an M41 with Putin and Ahmadinejad while waving a North Korean flag. You know, just so people won't get the wrong idea.

Denise Richards. Bikini. Cameltoe. [Egotastic]

Elizabeth Berkley is see through [Taxidriver Movie]

Awkward celebrity boners [Cityrag]

Cheryl Tweedy dresses appropriately [Popoholic]

12 TV characters you never see [College Humor]

Stop trying to make Summer Glau happen [Hollywood Tuna]

Kevin Jonas doesn't have to jerk off to Selena Gomez anymore. [Fatback Media]

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I have no idea what or who this video is for, but it's two minutes of a naked Bar Refaeli writhing on a couch, so it could be an ad for drowning puppies or pyromania, and I think I'd be okay with it. Not really sure why they used some music that Jennifer Aniston probably listens to when she feeds the garden hose in her tailpipe through her window, but that's really not a dealbreaker. Especially since I became a recent fan of tan lines. As previously stated, it'll just make it easier for me to find it in the dark.

Since pictures have been scarce lately, I'm making this post a Bar Refaeli blowout out bonanza! Oh, btw, depending on where you work, this video may be considered NSFW. Much like your erection:

At this point, anything is better than IDLYITW being the Thriller video it's been for the past two weeks, so here's Jessica Simpson and Tony Overthrowmo (get it?! haha) at the AT&T National in Bethesda, Md. yesterday where she sang something. The fact that Tiger Woods, one of the most dominant athletes in the history of sports (and one of my personal favs - vicious off the tee, married to a hot former model, etc.) had to condescend to take a picture with these two losers isn't lost on me, but damn she's squeezed into that damn dress. I never ever thought I'd say this, but if she kept that dress on, there's a good chance I'd fuck her so fast my penis would look like a tuning fork.

Reports have been coming out all week about the level of Michael Jackson's insane drug use, so you might be wondering how he was able to get his Smaug's treasure of prescription meds with so easily. Don't worry, Mike was on top of it. TMZ reports:

We've learned Jackson frequently used the names Omar Arnold and Jack London to get powerful drugs, including Demerol. Jackson also used the name of one of his bodyguards, as well as the name of the office manager for one of his doctors. The DEA, which is joining to assist the LAPD in its investigation of several doctors who prescribed drugs to Jackson, will be hunting down these names and others. Sources tell us the prescription abuse was so egregious, one doctor would call the pharmacy and say Jackson was coming down to get Demerol. The pharmacy would then fill the prescription, leaving the patient's name blank.

Jesus, who did Michael Jackson have planning this shit, Danny Ocean and Patton? It's hard to figure out if he was a drug addict or just thought Demerol was the Hope Diamond.

It's CELEBRITY DEATH WEEK!!! here on IDLYITW, and it just keeps getting worse because Oscar and Emmy winner Karl Malden died in his Los Angeles home today of natural causes. A steelworker before getting roles on Broadway, Malden starred in some of the most influential and classic films of all time such A Streetcar Named Desire and On The Waterfront before playing Detective Lt. Mike Stone on the 70's ABC drama, The Streets of San Francisco. Although I will always remember him as the father and grandfather of killer Capt. Jeffrey MacDonald's wife and children in Fatal Vision (The murders happened ten minutes from future me's house). So long, Karl. You had a run most of us would love to have. R.I.P.

Note: This has nothing to do with Karl Malden or dying, but I'd like to wish someone special a happy 28th birthday. You know who are. To everyone else, yeah I'm a sensitive pussy, get over it.





Since I'm posting Streetcar videos and I don't want to get a threatening phone call from my mother, here's Marlon Brando making Vivien Leigh's panties wet:

Remember Lindsay's "birthday party" she had on Saturday? Turns out it really wasn't her birthday, she's just a whore who needed some money. Page Six reports:

LINDSAY Lohan's 23rd birthday isn't until tomorrow, but she's already managed to profit off the day. According to sources, the troubled starlet was paid a cool $70,000 by the MGM Grand in Las Vegas to host an all-day "pre-celebration" at the hotel's Wet Republic pool party last Saturday. At the event, which served as a promotion for her Sevyn Nine self-tanning mist, Lohan changed bathing suits five times before throwing on club gear and dancing to Michael Jackson songs for the rest of the night. But friends of Lohan say the event was less of a celebration and more of an urgent attempt to pull in some cash. "None of her really close friends were there," said our insider, who noted that ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson was also missing from the festivities. "The only person who was even known was Brittny Gastineau."

Hopefully one day I'll be able to wake up and never have to post another Lindsay Lohan story because either her medicine can't help her T-cell count anymore or her vagina will get it's dream job of repopulating a distant planet. Either or. I can't really afford to be picky right now.