Most tell-all books suck, because they really aren't "tell-all" books. But thanks to Lynne Spears, that has all changed. How so? The Sun reports:

Troubled Britney Spears began boozing aged 13, lost her virginity at 14, then started taking drugs at 15, according to a shocking tell-all book by her mum. Wild child Britney allegedly first hit the bottle after joining Disney's squeaky-clean Mickey Mouse Club...Lynne claims 14-year-old Britney then had sex with an 18-year-old high school footballer soon after she quit the TV show. And she had her first taste of drugs at 15 when she went to Los Angeles to record her debut album Baby One More Time. As Britney later pursued her pop career, Lynne let her 16-year-old daughter sleep with teen sweetheart Justin Timberlake, despite claiming she was a virgin. A source said: "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her." Lynne's book reportedly tells of her horror when Britney, still just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet."

I know Britney Spears' fans are still hanging on to the life raft that it was Kevin Federline who turned their sweet, bubblegum cock-tease into raving lunatic narcissist hillbilly nympho, but looks it like it's bad news I'm afraid. Just like my last paternity test. Scandalous bitch.

Sorry, but this video never gets old:


Britney and her entourage in Las Vegas last weekend:

Hayden Panettiere is 18. Her boyfriend is 31. She just moved out of her parents' house. Not with him. He is angry. Star Magazine reports:

Hayden Panettiere is moving out of her parents' home and into her own crib, but her boyfriend, Milo Ventimiglia, isn't celebrating. Why is Milo in the dumps? Well, he thought he and his 12-years-younger Heroes costar would buy a home together! "They were looking, and then Hayden suddenly bought this $2.6 million house in West Hollywood," says a pal of the actress. "He isn't happy." But it turns out Hayden isn't ready to play house. According to the friend, she's "freaking out" because Milo keeps talking marriage. Adds the chum, "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down."

Really? $2.6 million? Shouldn't she be living in a gingerbread house or a tree trunk and singing to woodland animals about the joy of doing household chores? Because based on movies that I've seen, that would seem like the next logical step.

Hayden Panettiere and her gigantic head on TRL:

Not sure why anybody would offer, but Lindsay Lohan has reportedly turned down $700,000 to pose in an eight-page spread for Playboy's 55th anniversary issue that will be released in January. Page Six reports:

IT'S once nude, twice shy for Lindsay Lohan...."If there's nudity, then the answer's no...She's not going down the [New York] magazine road again," Lohan's rep told Playboy's creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay's naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip," which is one of Lohan's faves."

Actually, this wouldn't be the "going down the magazine road" because with Playboy, she'd actually get paid. Unlike the time she was tricked into posing naked for free in New York Magazine (read about that here). And who cares anyway? If you have a high-speed connection and about five minutes, you can see every part of Lindsay Lohan for free (Enjoy!!). The only way Playboy could surprise us if if the photographer is miniaturized in a submarine and injected in Linday's bloodstream.

Lindsay and her boyfriend in New York last week:


Photos: Splash

Hey, remember when they told you that David Duchovny went to rehab for sex addiction because he loved porn? Yeah, not so much. The Daily Mail reports:

David Duchovny cheated on his wife for years before finally entering a rehab clinic for sex addiction...The X Files star allegedly agreed to seek treatment after heartbroken Tea Leoni discovered his indiscretions and threatened to divorce him. 'He said Tea gave him an ultimatum: Get treatment or our marriage is over,' a source is quoted as telling the National Enquirer. 'She felt it was ruining their marriage and affecting their kids.' The actor has been married to the Deep Impact actress for 11 years, and the couple have a daughter, Madelaine West, nine, and a six-year-old son, Kyd. According to the source, Duchovny has admitted that he is compulsively driven to be unfaithful and finds it impossible to turn down the legions of women who offer themselves to him. Leoni is said to have grown suspicious of her husband's behaviour in recent months and after questioning him on a number of occasions, the 48-year-old finally admitted that he had been cheating on her. Duchovny checked into The Meadows facility in Arizona last week and is currently completing a 35 day course."

Whew, that sounds a lot better than jacking off to porn. At least cheating, by definition, involves another person. And that person may have included your best friend. Hey baby, why live in the past?

Duchovny's wife:


Photos: Splash

Just look at this dog's eyes. He isn't getting pet. He thinks he's going to the gas chamber.


Photos: Splash

The public feud between Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood (read more here and here) is back on today after Carrie called Jessica Simpson a fatass. OK! Magazine reports:

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen: the catfight between Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson continues, and someone's about to draw blood! Carrie's claws have come out following Jessica's recent interview, in which she gushes over current boyfriend (and Carrie's ex) Tony Romo, saying, "I just told him today, 'You're the love of my life.'" In the interview Jessica also says she's unconcerned by Carrie's claims of getting calls from Tony, admitting that she checks his phone logs and knows exactly who he does and does not call...."She finds Jessica's love of putting her life on display pretty desperate," a pal of the "Before He Cheats" singer tells OK!. "She laughed at the People cover, because it's the same one Jess did about John Mayer - same smile, same look, except she's a little fatter.""

I don't care what steps they need to take to resolve this feud, but it's pretty clear it should somehow involve Carrie Underwood getting naked.

David Spade impregnated Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace, who delivered the baby girl last week in Missouri. Read that sentence again. Take a deep breath. People reports:

David and Jillian have been in close contact throughout her pregnancy and he plans to go see the baby during his first break from shooting Rules of Engagement," Spade's rep, Meredith O'Sullivan, tells PEOPLE. The actor, 45, announced in January that he had a brief relationship with Grace, and if proven to be the child's biological father, he would accept responsibility. The baby was born Aug. 26."

If David Spade wasn't famous, he'd be waiting in the parking lot of Barnes & Noble with ether and duct tape because the chick behind the counter smiled at him. Actors move to L.A. to get laid. If you know an actor who wants to move to L.A. because he wants to hone his craft and participate in the organic experience of collaboration, kick him in the balls. He'll deserve it.

Click thumbnails for NSFW pics:


Photos: pmates.com

Jennifer Aniston playing a stalker on 30 Rock [Dlisted]
Hugh Hefner's main whore flashes her panties [Hollywood Tuna]
Jessica Simpson is still a retarded cheeseball [Popsugar]
Kiefer Sutherland for your consideration [City Rag]
Katie Holmes is not Tom Cruise [Hollywood Rag]
Star Jones has a new gay boyfriend [Just Jared]
Jordan sells horse products (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Nic Cage and John Travolta have really bad hair [Lainey Gossip]
Vikki Blows isn't blowing [Popoholic]
Sharon Stone has hard nipples (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
More of Britney Spears not topless [Egotastic]
Anne Hathaway has a new boyfriend [ASL]
Bayside High Never Prepared Me For This (Raising the Bar) [Pajiba]

My boyfriend performing with his band a few days ago: