Here's a video of Bret Michaels, singer from Poison and humper of herpes-afflicted sluts, getting bonked on the head by some stage equipment being lowered from the ceiling while performing at the Tony Awards. That was the best thing I've seen today. I started out today as a cranky bitch, and thanks to Bret Michaels, I'm now a chipper bitch.

I was obviously watching the wrong cable provider for the Superbowl if I missed this:

Super Bowl fans in Tucson, Ariz. were subjected to 30 seconds of hard core porn -- wang and all -- when somehow, the game feed was suddenly interrupted by a clip from an adult television channel.

Comcast -- the cable company in Tucson -- is working on an explanation, but right now it appears the porn break in only occurred in its standard-definition feed reaching analog TV sets.

Comcast has since issued a statement, saying: "We are mortified by last evening's Super Bowl interruption, and deeply apologize to our customers for the inappropriate programming. We are aggressively investigating the situation including the possibility of foul play."

Unfortunately, I can't find the actual wang shot referenced, but I do have pictures from the Playboy Superbowl party, complete with Bret Michaels and body-painted womens. That's almost as good as 30 seconds of porn.

Jenna Jameson is scaring me [Dlisted]
Cheryl Tweedy has nipples [Hollywood Tuna]
The Pope does NYC [City Rag]
Lindsay Lohan can't act [Hollywood Rag]
Brad Pitt has cheap undies [Just Jared]
Heather Graham gets her hot ass grabbed (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Jennifer Aniston is still boring and blurry [ASL]
This Natalie Portman sideshow is probably for Kutcher [Popsugar]
Katherine Heigl is still boring [Egotastic]
Sienna Miller topless, in case you missed it ... again (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Here's that beast Daisy De La Hoya from Rock of Love 2:

In this day and age, it's truly hard to find love. That's why I really had my hopes up when VH1 decided to throw a 44 year old guy in a hair band in a room full of strippers and star-fuckers to see where their hearts led them. Oh well. Page Six reports:

Bret Michaels never even got started with the "girlfriend" he selected last season, Jes Rickleff. Sources tell The Post's Melissa Jane Kronfeld that Michaels was informed by the pink-haired punk rocker over the phone that she had taken up with a Chicago clothing designer upon returning home to the windy city. VH1 has renewed "Rock of Love" for a second season, but has not announced if Michaels will be its heartthrob."

This comes as a real shock man, because everybody knows reality shows are not known for being faked or staged. Every reality show except for Man vs. Wild. That guy doesn't even try. I saw an episode one time where he said he was in Africa, then they pulled the camera back you could see cars and a house made out of bricks. You're not fooling me, sir.

Here's classy Rock of Love contestant, Brandi C. These are NSFW: