Emergency! Burger King Is Out Of Linkonade.



That is one urgent emergency. [BestWeekEver]

There's only one thing worse than your mom discovering your lube. You mom discovering your anal lube. [CollegeHumor]

Paris Hilton has moved on to Amanda Bynes sloppy seconds, which is a downgrade in almost every sense of the word. Except the intended software sense.[FatBackMedia]

I'm developing an obsession with Anne Hathaway. That and the slow news day means an Anne Hathaway link. [LaineyGossip]

London Fashion Week seems much cooler than New York Fashion Week. Maybe it's the more nipples? Site NSFW [DrunkenStepfather]

Holly Madison broke up with Cris Angel when he made her self respect disappear.[ImNotObsessed]

Emily Blunt: not as smokable as her name would imply. [ICYDK]

Oscar Nominations Were Announced Today


The circle jerk that is the 81st Academy Awards announced their nominations today. Here are the top six categories:
BEST PICTURE
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
FROST/NIXON
MILK
THE READER
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

BEST DIRECTOR
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON - David Fincher
FROST/NIXON - Ron Howard
MILK - Gus Van Sant
THE READER - Stephen Daldry
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE - Danny Boyle

BEST ACTOR

Richard Jenkins for THE VISITOR
Frank Langella for FROST/NIXON
Sean Penn for MILK
Brad Pitt for THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Mickey Rourke for THE WRESTLER

BEST ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway for RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
Angelina Jolie for CHANGELING
Melissa Leo for FROZEN RIVER
Meryl Streep for DOUBT
Kate Winslet for THE READER

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin for MILK
Robert Downey Jr. for TROPIC THUNDER
Philip Seymour Hoffman for DOUBT
Heath Ledger for THE DARK KNIGHT
Michael Shannon for REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams for DOUBT
Penelope Cruz for VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Viola Davis for DOUBT
Tarija P. Henson for THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Marisa Tomei for THE WRESTLER


No Gran Turino, no The Dark Knight, no Wall-E, no The Wrestler for Best Picture? Man, thanks Academy! Movies about a Nazi guard who likes to be read to and interviews from thirty years ago sound way more exciting! I can't wait to see who wins!!

Heath Ledger on the set of his last film. He died one year ago today. R.I.P.:

Links We Caught In Joaquin Phoenix's Beard



Now that Phoenix is all about "music" he has given up on facial hair care. [BestWeekEver]

Claire Forlani was a little nude and a lotta topless in her film False Witness. Miss the flick, click the pics. [Egotastic]

Zuma Nesta Rock, child of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale already has his bling. [PinkIsTheNewBlog]

Anne Hathaway wants to get breast implants? Whatev. [PopCrunch]

Blake Lively will only wear size zero dresses, even if other sizes would fit better. [ImNotObsessed]

Eddie Murphy still gets his mack on at clubs. Good for him and his nearly useless self. [CityRag]

Kerry Katona topless, you say? Yes please. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Broke-ass celeb of the day? The plastic Shauna Sand. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Beauty And The B*tch



Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are currently in Italy promoting Bride Wars. My crush on Anne Hathaway has been developing into an unhealthy obsession. Have you ever watched The Devil Wears Prada on mute while Jungle Boogie plays on loop? When you do, do you have paper towels for clean-up? If so, welcome to my world.

It just makes me dislike Kate Hudson more. Look at her and her smug "I'm Hollywood royalty face." I just want to kiss it. Kiss it so hard her brains come out the back of her head.

Anne Hathaway Looks Pissed



Anne Hathaway is currently in Bride Wars with Kate Hudson, which would be at the top of the box office if racist Clint Eastwood beating up on Chinese Americans wasn't, like, one thousand times more interesting. Anne told Jimmy Kimmel last week that her New Year's Resolution was to do something new everyday.

This morning she probably rolled over in bed and was like: "Scott? Again? Damn!" Both breaking her resolution and really giving Scott's morning wood the blue balls.


Anne Hathaway Should Shut Up


This story is a few days old now, but it pisses me off, so here it is. Anne Hathaway, an ardent Obama supporter, has her panties in a wad over Obama's choice of Rick Warren as the clergy to say the prayer during his inauguration. Want to know her bold tactic? FOXNews reports:
"I am against it," Hathaway told me at the after party last night amid champagne toasts to her, to Streep, and to her "Rachel" co-star Rosemarie Dewitt. "My older brother is gay, and so its a family issue for me. My father is coming with me to the Inauguration. At first we discussed not going, and then we thought we'd just turn our backs when he [Warren] speaks. But we didn't want to be disrespectful. So we're going to wear ribbons protesting his appearance."

Being a self-loathing whitey must be bad enough, but man it must be draining to hate and be offended by anyone and everyone who dares to disagree with you. You're right, Rick Warren should be pulled apart by horses because he thinks it's uncool for your brother to drunk dial dudes. If you feel so strongly about it, you should do something. Like the times when I meet people who preach that all guns should be banned and that they would never have a gun in their house. I tell them that's a good idea and that if they really want the world to know their stance, they should put a sign in their front yard that says "No Guns in This House". To my surprise, no one has agreed to do it yet. In their defense, the bumper sticker on their Prius and the t-shit under their cardigan already kinda says the same thing.

Note: Wow, maybe I should lay off the Red Bull.

Anne Hathaway's Ex is Smooth


If you've asked yourself what would Raffaello Follieri's defense be for wire fraud and money laundering that resulted in him bilking millions from investors and using it to travel the world on private planes, lavish luxurious gifts on friends and family, and buying everything that Anne Hathaway's heart desired? Simple. Be very, very stupid. AP says:

"Prosecutors said Monday they were surprised the former boyfriend of actress Anne Hathaway sent a judge a photo of himself and the pope while seeking leniency for cheating investors of millions of dollars by claiming he could buy Catholic Church property on the cheap. They urged the judge Thursday to impose the more than four years in prison that Raffaello Follieri agreed to when he entered a guilty plea last month rather than the three years his defense lawyers requested in a recent submission of their own. The prosecutors said Follieri included pictures of the pope and other clergymen even though his claims of Vatican ties were the foundation of his fraud. "This is surprising because Follieri used these same photographs and connections in order to defraud investors and now seeks to use them in an effort to obtain a reduced sentence," they said."

Wow. Now that you've read that quote, please keep in mind that Anne Hathaway dated this idiot for four years. Four years. Man, I can't wait until I meet her. It should be pretty easy to talk her into anal. My picture of me and Jesus at his bachelor party is way better than some picture of the Pope.

Hathaway and Follieri in June 2008:


Photos: Splash

Anne Hathaway is a Diva


Don't look now, but Anne Hathaway might be a raging bitch. OK! says:

...rumors of high-maintenance requests have swirled around the actress, making many wonder whether Anne is taking a cue from a different character from the popular movie about a demanding boss and those who serve her. After delaying a day of interviews with just her breakfast order, Anne is beginning to resemble editrix Miranda Priestly instead of down-to-earth Andy. "Anne requested lattes but only ones with soy milk, so she made a guy go out and bring back five soy lattes for her and her crew," a source tells OK! of the Rachel Getting Married event at the Hollywood life House in Toronto on Sept. 6. "Then she requested scrambled eggs since she didn't like the breakfast available. The same guy had to go to a restaurant next door and ask for the eggs. It took 45 minutes, and then she barely even touched them!"

Anne Hathaway's last boyfriend was a millionaire who became a millionaire by lying to people about working for the Vatican and vaccinating kids in Africa, so she's used to a certain lifestyle. She just won't settle for any lattes. It's pretty clear that as long as she can be pampered with shopping sprees in Paris on your private jet or vacations on your yacht in Spain, Anne Hathaway really doesn't care how it happens. Just as long as it happens. You could be the billionaire CEO of Jihadmustdestroyalljewsandgivechildrenaidspraiseallah, Inc. and she would, at worst, give you head on the first date.