Tom Cruise Farts on Letterman [College Humor]
Guy Ritchie hated Madonna's body [Hollywood Rag]
Pink was in rehab [Dlisted]
Mary-Kate Olsen's car accident video [Just Jared]
Heidi Klum ruins a see through moment [Hollywood Tuna]
DJ AM and Mandy Moore keep things friendly [Popsugar]
Christina Aguilera eye opener [City Rag]
Malin Ackerman drops some cleavage [Popoholic]
Ashlee Simpson is still pregnant [Lainey Gossip]
Gisele Bundchen has a see through shirt (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Aisleyne Horgan Wallace in a wet t-shirt and a thong (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Min. Pleasure (Max Payne) [Pajiba]
Audrina Patridge gets dunked [Egotastic]
Kevin Smith wants to drop some serious poundage [Socialite Life]

Banner pic: Brooke Hogan's idiodic MySpace blog in regard to her brother, Nick Hogan's, release from jail. Click image for larger picture.

Us Magazine reports that Brooke Hogan has turned down an non-existentoffer to pose in Playboy. Oh, darn.

"Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time," her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. "It's not out of the question for the future, but we'll have to see."

Penis' mood: Asleep
Currently listening to: Dude Looks Like a Lady, Aerosmith

Initially sentenced to eight months in prison after plowing through the streets of downtown Clearwater, FL drunk driving a yellow Supra and racing a Dodge Viper, and left his passenger, Iraq war veteran, John J. Graziano, a permanent vegetable with a salad bowl for a head (read all our coverage here), Nick Hogan is being set free three months early. TMZ reports:

Nick's being released from Pinellas County Jail on Oct. 21, three months short of the eight-month sentence he got for felony reckless driving. His early release is for good behavior. The victim of the crash, John Graziano, remains in a vegetative state."

If there's one thing you can count on, it's the fact that our criminal justice system is irrevocably broken. That, and these mutant hybrid puma scorpions that I've trained to use spicy mustard with the intestines of overpriveledged, pampered wiggers who get out of jail early. Their judgment swift. Their punishments exacting. Their hunger insatiable.

Update: Here's what John Graziano's "life" is like now. It's disturbing and could be NSFW depending on where you work, so you've been warned. It's newsworthy, so please don't whine about us posting it like some of you did with the Shanna Moakler post.



Brock Hogan still trying to look like her body contains estrogen:

Jason Taylor just got traded to the Redskins, so the news out of Miami right now is whether or not Brooke Hogan will report to Dolphins training camp this weekend? With a hole at defensive end, Parcells is sure to be anxiously waiting for word from Hogan's agent. Can she add another Super Bowl victory to the Dolphins' proud history? Will her estrogen shots give her an unfair advantage on Sundays? Are her tits velcroed on? For updates on this story and other breaking news, don't touch that dial!

Brooke Hogan wasn't cloned, this is just Brooke Hogan and her father's girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, at a pool in Miami. Hulk Hogan's girlfriend who looks exactly like his teenage daughter. Exactly. The only way these pictures could be more creepy is if they were wearing baby bonnets and using Hulk's penis as a pacifier.


Photos: Splash

Christian Bale does the Today Show [Just Jared]
Salma Hayek's baby makes a rare appearance [Dlisted]
Lisa Rinna and her nipples out and about [Hollywood Tuna]
Mary-Kate Olsen still dresses like a retard [Popsugar]
James Blunt's girlfriend in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Tree Porn [City Rag]
Naomi Campbell is doing damage control [Hollywood Rag]
Izabel Goulart does Arena magazine [Popoholic]
Maria Sharapova cameltoe (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Jessica Alba is still pregnant [Egotastic]
Brady Bunch drama [ASL]
Usher needs to retire his move [Lainey Gossip]

Brooke Hogan doing her tranny-thing yesterday in Miami:

A few months ago Hulk Hogan put suntan lotion in his hands and rubbed it out his 20 year old daughter's ass. He was even thoughtful enough to rub it in her ass crack. You remember that being creepy as hell, right? Yeah, apparently Brooke Hogan doesn't think so. US Magazine reports:

I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. "He used to change my diaper!" she adds."

The last time I checked Brooke Hogan wasn't caught in a chemical spill that left her with T-Rex arms, so I'm gonna take a wild stab and say that she can put suntan lotion on her own ass. But she wants her dad to do it. Her dad. On her ass. If my mom wanted to put suntan lotion on my ass, they'd have to cut off her hands and let a chick in a Hooters calendar wear them as gloves. Even then they'd have to put glitter on them or paint rainbows on them or something, because I'd still know, man. I'd still know.

Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan's jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact that John Graziano is a vegetable because traffic laws don't apply to them. And by "heartbroken and remorseful" I mean "how much money can Nick Hogan make off this?" Bay News 9 really wants you to punch a wall.

Hulk: "Well, I don't know what type of person John was. Or what he did to get himself in this situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff. And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don't know what he was into."

Nick: "He was a negative person.

Hulk: "He was what?"

Nick: "He was a negative person. Will you work on that Real-Ality deal?"

Hulk: "Yep"

Nick: "Get that lined up so the minute I walk out...wherever I walk out of it's there...boom."

Hulk: "Can you do it while you're on probation?"

Nick: "Of course."

Hulk: "Do you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or someone else?"

Nick: "I want to do it where I'll make the most money."

In another transcript, Linda Hogan says that John Graziano is a vegetable because of karma. And after her minor collision this weekend, Brooke Hogan repeatedly threw in jabs that she was alive because of her seatbealt. So if you thought the entire Hogan family were insufferable douchebags, congratulations! You were right. I'm pretty sure the devil is going to make sure they get a police escort to hell.

Hulk and Brock visiting Nick in jail:


Thanks, Stefanie!