Let's face it, soccer is the most popular sport in the world because when the rest of the world were thinking about a sport to play, they looked around and saw some burning tires and a half-inflated ball while they were washing their clothes in the river and decided to kick the ball around. Then one guy said, "Hey, you try to kick the ball here and I'll try to get the ball there and we'll get two other dudes to stand where I just pointed to try to block it, because holy crap this is shit boring." My point being, America kicks ass. We can afford actual equipment. We invented baseball, basketball, and real football. We don't have the time to waste four hours watching a bunch of foppish dandies have a 0-0 tie. I have no idea what the point of this rambling nonsense is about at this point, but look! Lucy Pinder! Soccer! Tits!

You can check out the pics of the shoot HERE if you want. Or not. I can't live your life.

I imagine being on the Mt. Rushmore of tits can be it's own reward, but I'd like to personally thank Lucy Pinder for being a bottomless pit of need that forces her to take her top off whenever there is a camera around. I would send her a thank you card, but they don't really make them big enough for the picture I planned on taking. Sorry :(

CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC TO SEE THE NSFW GALLERY

Sorry about the late jump today, but more to the point, Dave has moved on to bigger and better things. The bad news is, you'll be stuck with me seven days a week now. And let's not kid ourselves, I pretty much suck at this. IDLYITW wishes Dave well in whatever he's doing right now, whether it be warming up a Hot Pocket or telling Hayden Panettiere to be quiet until the ether kicks in. So long, Dave. And thanks for all the fish.

In honor of 5/18, here's the instant erection Lucy Pinder in the new issue of NUTS Magazine. You can check out the gallery HERE, but if "Lucy Pinder" and "NUTS" didn't give it away, these are very, very, NSFW.

Lucy Pinder showed up at something called the Children's Champions Awards in London last night, and I don't know what those are, but I'm going to take a wild stab and say this outfit was inappropriate. Everybody in the room should have been listening to heartwarming stories of courage and hope, not jerking off in their wetnaps.

Hey, so the site apparently saw a text I got from another girl and it's being a little bitch right now. The comment section is pouting or something and this is the first post I've been able to put up since yesterday afternoon, so if you're reading this then that's a good sign. All the crap I've been working on since this morning will be up in a few and we should have all the issues resolved (comments included) soon, and by "we" I mean one of the tech guys who emailed me. Who is this guy, some kind of super-intelligent cyborg? I mean, he must be because I rebooted my computer twice and the site still didn't work. Well, look at you, Mr. Smartypants.

UPDATE: We're all fixed now. Thanks, cyborg guy!

To apologize, here's Lucy Pinder and her heavenly gigantic rack. If your company has an "anti-gigantic rack policy", a few of these might be NSFW:

This picture of Lucy Pinder and her enormous rack have nothing to do with anything, it's just going up because it will get Shauna Sand off the homepage while I work on other crap. Hi five!

Macy Gray is right about one thing: "Drink water." It's very important.

This post of sad Jessica Alba doesn't have a title, which makes it all the more puzzling, and awesome. [Hollywood Gossip]

If Megan Fox can't get Brian Austin Green to care, I'm sure we're all in line to replace him. [LaineyGossip]

Hayden Panettiere squished her boobs for the Golden Globes. There wasn't that much to squish in the first place. [Bastardly]

Odette Yustman is going to be in Esquire, and one picture has leaked. One picture of Odette Yustman deserves a link. [Popoholic]

Romana from South Carolina like to drink to Thunderstruck by AC/DC. We might be compatible. [CollegeHumor]

Lucy Pinder is some British woman who was first to get voted off Celebrity Big Brother. Yet she was on camera enough for a montage clip of her "breast bits." [Hollywood Tuna]

Victoria Beckham doesn't always look good, so this ad for Armani Underwear is quite the occasion. [PinkIsTheNewBlog]

For those of you who don't know, Lucy Pinder is one of the many British "glamour" models who are famous for no other reason than having gigantic racks and the skill of being easily talked into showing them. Lucy has parlayed this success into a spot as a houseguest on the new UK Big Brother which premiered last night. It didn't take her long to say the greatest thing in the history of the world. The Sun reports:

PERKY Miss Pinder claimed last night that she would love to get it on with American actress Megan Fox - if only she (Lucy) was a lesbian. Nobody's stopping you, Luce. "She is hot, she looks like a doll," said Lucy seductively.

If any of you ladies have a flat tire but don't have a jack, now would be a pretty good time to give me a call. Seriously, if you're a dude and Lucy Pinder licking on Megan Fox doesn't seem like a good idea, call your parents, I think you have a secret to tell them.

Note: I've sat here for like ten minutes trying to think of a better pair of chicks to have a threesome with but my penis keeps saying "no results found". Everybody else will forever be a runner up. Or the Ohio State of threesomes if you will.