Of course the BET Awards last night turned into a Michael Jackson circle jerk,so of course somebody at some point was gonna do the moonwalk. That somebody was Jamie Foxx. Which brings up the point, the moonwalk is just walking backwards right? And if it's supposed to be an accurate representation of walking on the moon, then why are the laws of anti-gravity not being taken into account? How can this be an iconic dance when it's whole foundation is built on half-truths and scientific falsities?! DO NOT BE FOOLED ANY LONGER!!! WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

I have no idea who any of those people in the audience are and I don't look for pictures of Jamie Foxx, so here's Nell McAndrew naked in Loaded Magazine. Yay racism! (a few might be NSFW):

Shauna Sand is in a bikini in almost every picture she takes, but here she is with half of it off. I know I'm supposed to get excited about topless pictures, but my penis is so unimpressed he looks like a quadriplegic trying to swim. It's not happening. Because, just so we're clear, you're about to look at Shauna Sand's tits. You have a better chance of seeing something less scary if you were on board the Event Horizon.

If you're in a safe place and you want to take a long look at the unadulterated hell that are Shauna Sand's tits, feel free to stare into the abyss HERE (VERY NSFW). But be warned, when you stare too long into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you.

Gossip Girl star, Leighton Meester, is by all accounts boring. So congratulations, Leighton. You just got interesting. TMZ reports:

Spotted ... "Gossip Girl" star Leighton Meester having sex with her BF... on video. We've learned a Meester tape is being shopped around town. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes -- with several big exceptions ... one involving her very talented feet. We're told a company called celebhotline.com is negotiating for the video. The company's spokesperson, Kevin Blatt told us, "We've seen the tape and we're hoping to close the deal."

For her sake, let's hope her sex tape is better than mine. To be honest, it wasn't really sexy when I pulled my pants down and those two twins crossed themselves and ran away screaming. I wonder what their deal was?


NSFW UPDATE: Apparently the deal has been closed, because you can see the first images of the tape HERE. Or you can pull out your credit card and allegedly see more of it here.

Even though Kate Gosselin is a controlling, manipulative, emasculating, money hungry bitch, she goes to great lengths to paint herself as a loving and caring mother. Oh well, so much for that. inTouch Weekly reports:

On camera, TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 star Kate Gosselin tries to portray herself as a supermom who can handle taking care of 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets. These exclusive new photographs show that Kate’s composed demeanor may just be a facade. Behind the scenes, she seems to be unraveling. Around 11 a.m. on June 13, a witness spotted Kate, 34, and the children playing outside of their Reading, Pa., home. When Leah, one of the sextuplets, started blowing a whistle loudly, Kate told her to stop because she was on the phone. But as soon as Leah blew on the whistle again, Kate “seemed to lose her temper” and said, “Did you not hear me?” Then she stormed over to her daughter, grabbed her and hit her. “The girl was screaming and crying,” the witness adds. “Kate just pushed her away and walked off with her coffee. Her older sisters were trying to make Leah feel better.”

I'm not even sure where to begin on this one, because there's a good chance I might Hulk out halfway through and throw my television out of a four story window then jump out and throw the crane lift on the Mexican construction workers outside. Because, I say a lot of fucked shit on here, but anybody who hits a kid because they're pissed off deserves every hideous torture imaginable. Jesus, this chick has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Darth Vader cut off his own son's hand, but at least he didn't wear Keds and have a VIP card at Supercuts.

I have no idea who this guy is, but he pretty much sums up everything the world thinks of Kate Gosselin. Thanks random Internet guy! (NSFW language)

A sex tape featuring Rihanna and presumably Chris Brown has leaked online today. Of course this isn't to be confused with my single feat. T-Pain that was also leaked today. People might be surprised, but I really think it shows my sensitive side.

You can download the clip HERE, but be warned it's very, very NSFW. Especially if your office has a strict "no night vision" policy.

UPDATE: Yeah, so, the chick in this video may or not be Rihanna and may or may not be a black porn star named Lavish Styles. So sorry if it turns out to be the other chick. I'll admit, if black porn was a group of Facebook, I probably wouldn't ask to join.

Sorry about the late jump today, but more to the point, Dave has moved on to bigger and better things. The bad news is, you'll be stuck with me seven days a week now. And let's not kid ourselves, I pretty much suck at this. IDLYITW wishes Dave well in whatever he's doing right now, whether it be warming up a Hot Pocket or telling Hayden Panettiere to be quiet until the ether kicks in. So long, Dave. And thanks for all the fish.

In honor of 5/18, here's the instant erection Lucy Pinder in the new issue of NUTS Magazine. You can check out the gallery HERE, but if "Lucy Pinder" and "NUTS" didn't give it away, these are very, very, NSFW.

On Tuesday, Donald Trump announced that reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean, a member of the National Organization for Marriage, would keep her crown despite leaked "topless" photos. One day later, Shanna Moakler, former Miss California and advocate of gay marriage, resigned her post as Miss California Pageant Director. In a passive aggressive and self-serving statement, she tells Us Magazine her reasons:

"Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization," Moakler tells Us. "I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth," she continues. "I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams."

If you printed out Carrie Prejean's topless photos, cut out the boobs and pieced them together like a jigsaw puzzle, you might get a picture of one whole tit, so I can't believe Shanna Moakler would resign because of those. I'm not sure if her plan to be a role model for young girls included the time when she posed for Stuff and Playboy (NSFW). Or when she played a naked whore (NSFW) in Seeing Other People. Or when she was a worthless bitch who slept until noon everyday on her reality show. It's hard to tell. I hate to jump to conclusions here, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she resigned because of Prejean's stance on gay marriage. That's like me resigning my post as Mr. Giant Penis Pageant Director because the guy who just won prefers Star Trek to Star Wars. You know, or any other scenario that means petty and fucking ridiculous.

I'm of two minds on this leak of Rihanna naked pictures.

MIND ONE: "Holy sh*t! Naked Rihanna photos are, like, what I wanted for Christmas and never got! All aboard the wanking train to chafed city! Whoo hoo!"



MIND TWO: "Is that last picture of Chris Brown with panties on his head? So these were before she got the shit beat out of her? God, I hoped never to think about that again. Maybe I should stop masturbating. I can't see the pics through my tears."

Luckily MIND ONE killed and ate MIND TWO. I only have half a mind, and it feels so fine. Fine like Rihanna's hindquarters. Damn.



Hey Rihanna, you got a little Mexican in you?

You want some (emphasis on little - like, too small to beat you)?

CLICK HERE FOR THE BEAUTIFUL NSFW-NESS.