There's a reason why every single guy in the 90's would've let Pamela Anderson do reverse cowgirl on them in front of their parents at a funeral, and these new(?) pictures kinda make me wish it was the 90's again. Because in hindsight, I think I would have went with neon green ground effects on my Suzuki Sidekick instead of blue.

CLICK ON THE BANNER PIC (NSFW) TO SEE THE RACK THAT LAUNCHED 1,000 PLASTIC SURGEONS

On August 27th, Brody Jenner and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, claimed that Girl's Gone Wild founder, Joe Francis, "pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her." Francis adamantly denied these allegations, calling Jayde a liar and that he would be vindicated. I had to look in the dictionary to see if "vindicated" still meant what I thought it did. As it turns out, Joe Francis might have used it wrong.

Jayde Nicole in a bikini. Respect. You can also check out her Playboy pics HERE (NSFW, duh):

Victoria Silvstedt was at a public beach in St. Tropez this weekend where she A.) healed the sick B.) discovered a portal to a new dimension C.) masturbated in plain view of photographers. Click on the banner picture to find out this startling revelation! The suspense is killing me!!

Sophie Monk is in a new movie called The Hills Run Red, a horror movie about something something something blah blah something something TITS!

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Sophie Monk's face might as well be a tub of butter coated in butter spray, but she has a pretty sick body that she likes to show off so now she's almost sorta kinda famous for doing that. Now here's some beach yesterday that got a little interesting when Sophie Monk's tits popped out of her bikini. Look, I'm not here to judge you or anything, but I'm really not sure while you're still reading this right now, you big fag.

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Rihanna was walking in NYC yesterday where she wore a see through shirt and unveiled a nipple ring. In related news, I just unveiled my new peanut butter brownies! It's chocolate and peanut butter!!!

Since her relationship with her agent is basically over, Britney Spears is on the prowl for new meat. No, not the kind that's flame-broiled her way. NYDN reports:

We're told that the last time Brit wanted some male delivered, she picked up some modeling agency catalogues and started flipping through the pictures. According to our sources, she took a liking to one strapping Ford man named Bekim Trenova. Using back channels, Spears' minions are said to have invited the 24-year-old hunk to "audition" for a music video in L.A. "When he got there, there was no camera crew," contends a source. "There was just Britney. She was looking sexy. She made it pretty clear that she was less interested in hiring him than in dating him." Trenova had recently broken up with Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. But according to our source, "Bekim found the whole scene very weird. He was polite but not interested. He made some excuse to get out of there." Her rep insists the story is "completely false. She doesn't know this guy." A coy Trenova laughs: "I have no comment."

Man, that Bekim Trenova guy sure has a lot of will power. It's not everyday you get tempted by a mentally unstable overweight single mother of two. It's like he was being tempted by the devil himself!!

CLICK the banner pic to see the rest of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (NSFW)

I've never heard of Purple Magazine, but maybe they should give Sophia Bush or Megan Fox a call because they apparently have no issue with talking actresses into getting completely naked. Specifically, Milla Jovovich in their Fall/Winter issue. She's basically just standing around an apartment, but to reiterate, she's completely naked. She could be standing in the middle of a high school massacre or Dollar General and I'm not really sure it would make a difference to your penis.


CLICK on the banner picture (NSFW) to see what a vagina looks like as it ponders if it should have called professional movers.